you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
