Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
