I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
