There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize