i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize