brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
