first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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