I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
