I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
