so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
