atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize