you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
