hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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