You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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