i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He did a backflip because drugs
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
