he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I believe in your delicious
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
