I cockslap morals
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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