it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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