At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
