Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
