I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
