My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
