we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
