I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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