I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
