isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
