i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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