And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
