My first STD was from a foam party
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
