Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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