he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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