just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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