Kiss
Puke
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
