You're my little dorito
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
3pm strippers are depressing
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
