My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
