We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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