It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
