let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
