He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
