Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
