If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
