Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"

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(313): View more from Michigan

I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty

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(954): View more from Florida

I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"

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(909): View more from California

Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?

(604): View more from British Columbia

And your cock privileges have been revoked.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.

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(631): View more from New York

it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type

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