when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
