hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
