I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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