You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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