no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize