so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
