Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
