No awkward lesbian experiences without me
farters have to be the big spoon...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
