I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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