ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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