hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
