I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
