She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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