i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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