I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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