youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
