How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm getting married
To pizza
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize