careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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