I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize