My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
