Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
